My apologies for over-generalizing the following opinions… but, it seems like most folks with distorted perceptions of God—therefore—reality as a whole, seem to be struggling with environmental/educational influences… trauma… environment mixed with perception. And maybe something like an influence of religious or cultural entrapment being the worse of education/environment… you mix them together, like trauma inflicted by trusted folks, like those in family, education or religion, and the ontological-shock of the worse parts of reality collide — like multiple shaped-charges converging on radiological particles — resulting in impacted-grief, complete with nasty implosions/symptoms.
… and then maybe the force of trauma begets an equal but opposite affect by means of prolonged-unhealthy thoughts, words, actions, behaviors of the person impacted, or, victimized… people call that lots of things depending on how much your words/actions/deeds impact your’s, and other people’s lives… where it measures on some spectrum, or the duration of grief… sometimes it’s a brief phase/season, if it lasts long enough—they call it a dysfunction, other times they call it a mental illness, it’s all based on scores/identifiers on different tests (i hate tests, all of them, period)…
… so that’s just my weird introduction… what i really wanted to write about is that most (otherwise) intelligent folks that are stuck/lost in unhealthy perceptions of God seem to be hung-up on historical circumstances/events that they couldn't control in a manner that they think God should have controlled it, they don't think something was fare, expectations were shattered by being victimized, or witnessing some aspect/act of evil… so the ‘God problem’ is an unresolved equation, an open-loop, resulting in faulty reasoning/logic... ‘if God is good, then why did bad happen’ sort of faulty reasoning…
… everyone has trials to walk through, everyone experiences events that can be traumatic -- events, or people to grieve... grieving is mostly a multi-emotional exercise of will, fighting against reality… in hopes to resolving reality... and eventually aligning with reality… not sure how the pros define it, but i think i’m close enough… there’s something about a reconciliation of God, Self, others, our routine environments… and maybe some history/experience, who you were then vs. now, what you’ve learned since then… I’m not a professional anything, and completely untrained in this area, so research on your own if it sounds interesting enough…
… some folks take great pride in their accomplishments/achievements, their strengths, their 'use of free will', and decision-making... but, you don't get free-will, or the ability to make any decision at all, if you demand a controlling God, a God that controls every thought, word, and action of everyone, every animal, every man-made or natural disaster... God answers prayer in the way that only God can, but He DOESN'T ‘micro-manage’ creation... we are all managers of creation to the capacity that we capable of... we all learn and discern at different ages, some folks can't manage anything very well (like me some times), yet others seem to have their sh!t together from young ages (i might be a slow-learner)...
… the experiences and events that sharpen our discernment between good and bad, love vs. evil, wrong from right, those experiences are a part of our uniqueness--everyone is exposed to good and bad, everyone has a 'valley of the shadow of death' to traverse, and ‘mountain-top highs’ to experience, life offers many bi-polar experiences and seasons... many folks learn during these events, but some lessons are soon forgotten when the ego wasn't calibrated/tamed via good-times and bad-times, and our perception of reality again... whatever the circumstances/events that pushed us away from reality might be, only to grieve our very existence, what-ever those character-defining moments were, God wants you to turn-around for good now... grief will subside in do time, once you realize that you aren't God, just a small piece of Him (to some degree), that helps maintain His creation, while giving cnstant feed-back to Him, but can't control everything the way that you want to, and when you want to... when you are ready to approach reality again, just ask God to give you more understanding, with different perspectives of the events, how they have taken their toll on your body/mind/soul biome, and how to turn them around for good, otherwise, ‘evil wins’... again, and again, and again, etc… i know you are better, more responsible, and intelligent to simply settle for that...
… Hey… just a reminder, that i Love You, and so does Dad, our Father, who isn’t just ‘in heaven’, but literally encapsulates the entire universe, maybe even is the Universe, but a bit more personal then many folks like to consider…
… if that post spoke to you at all, then maybe check this one out too, it’s still getting hits, so i think folks dig it… cheers — ct