Trauma vs. Reality

WTF just happened to me?!?!!!

There are a couple of statements/responses to nasty experiences that don't hold up very well—and I know that I’ve used both of them myself at some point in time… they are 'what did i do to deserve this', and then 'why did this happen to me' types of questions/feelings... these sorts of grievances and responses to traumas/experiences are some of the things that make everyone unique… you and i have been subjected to two different lifetimes full of different experiences, and we have different genetics and minds with which we interpret/compute/process life, because we are—you know—unique. The traumas that we sometimes experience might knock you right off your feet, perspective of other people, perspective of God, life, and our expectations for a season… side note, some folks call long-term trauma ‘impacted grief.’

After those life-changing seasons or moments we might 'feel' a bunch of different ways, sad, angry, victimized, overwhelmed, shaken, naive, ignorant, stupid, lucky, smarter... it's all positive feedback that God want's to hear, at least that's the way that i understand the concept of God... whatever it was that happened is valuable feedback to God, and to others as well.

If you've survived something incredible—either good or bad—you might have experienced something that only a very small percentage of people actually might ever consider... and if you've survived something incredible/horrific long enough you will probably benefit future survivors and generations, once you are healthy enough to do so... humans helping humans, and honoring/following God the best that we know how are two simple concepts that might make the world go 'round—so to speak.

What ever the experiences that were powerful enough to knock us off our feet might be, they are subject to the principle that 'there is nothing new under the sun'... what ever you might be thinking or have experienced has sort of/similarly already happened, maybe to zillions of others—sometimes groups of people simultaneously (think 9/11), but mostly to individuals throughout history—but, for the sake of survival/evolution, you might also consider that a very similar thing is going to be experienced by more people in the future. I appreciate the folks that use their experiences/knowledge/wisdom to help others, many of those folks have survived some pretty nasty things themselves too.

My advice as a first step in processing anything weird is to let God know everything that you want to communicate about the events, and communicate similarly to those who you love/appreciate/respect.* As painful as the initial trauma was, your season of pain and anguish has increased your knowledge and perspective of life, and thing's that are good, bad, and nasty things that are even possible; in fact, you may have experienced a PhD's worth of information in just a few moments in time. * writing/journaling helped me remember, and process a whole bunch.

But, going back to the statements that i now have issues with—it's not a matter of ‘why’ did you go through such an experience as much as it is ‘how you can turn it around for good.’ Look, bad stuff happens to good people all of the time, and bad stuff even happens to bad people too. Some of life’s painful events can literally knock someone out of the figurative ‘hampster-wheel’, and correct the assumption that life is supposed to always be good, pleasant, and easy… and you won’t experience bad things… sometimes life can be quite depressing, even depressive seasons, which are cycles that—for most folks—will come to a healthy ending with a greater perspective of reality.

If you really feel a need to know why something painful or difficult happened, you might spend a lifetime trying to figure it out, there might be a zillion reasons why; in some respect that's between you and God… but my personal opinion is to turn it around for good as soon as you possibly can, use that nasty trauma for growing, strengthening, and maturing… and for helping others, too. There are lot's of ways to redeem shitty seasons and events; consider that good things get exploited for bad purposes all of the time (terrible use of free will, resources, potential, and intelligence), and it's a value to humanity when bad things are turned/utilized for good, forward/positive momentum and healthy evolution suggests that we must… that we must learn from history/experiences—both good and bad—and turn the bad into good as much as possible… but, that requires a fight and determination from folks that got a nasty dose of humanity and our environment's worst.

Everyone has a unique story to tell, the story of our live's... sometimes sharing our stories help us, sometimes they help others, but i think they always benefit God, and our relationship/connection to Him/It, other humans, and to our environment. If you are still searching for answers to ‘why this or that happened’, well maybe something nasty happened to you because you are somehow potentially strong enough to survive, fully process, heal, strengthen, evolve, and help others going through similar crap. Even if it's taken a while for you to recover, and grow you still have plenty of utility toward humanity. Humble yourself, and commit to getting healthy… talk therapy is decent if you are paired with a decent counselor/therapist/pastor, etc.

With God's strength/power you might just maximize the education and potential imparted by all of your experiences—the good, the bad, and everything in between. When you get healthy again, your potential and utility to both mankind and our Creator are greatly increased. We learn, grow, and evolve from correctly processing our past, and musn't let our history consume/impair our functionality very long… staying in neutral/stagnant-pain is the ‘freeze’ in the fight-flight-freeze reaction to messy/unexpected stimuli. Trauma/events, and processing time/seasons happen to everyone to different degrees, but those seasons ‘come to pass’, not to eternally harass you.

Man, do i hate shitty experiences and seasons, but there is something to benefit from them, there is something that we can learn and redeem from them, they might give you a built-in empathy for others, and those in pain. Here’s a weird ‘word picture’ to consider… you may have payed the price for unintentionally ‘milking the grizzly’… get those wounds dressed, and now go share your bucket of creamy nourishment with others that might require it.

You CAN get healthy again, but that takes attention, commitment, being transparent/honest, and perseverance/determination… please don’t give up. God bless. — ct

here, listen to Jocko:

… Not sure how you found this post, but you might consider reading this one as well.

… Maybe this post will stimulate your noggin a bit… i hope so… cheers—ct